As we find ourselves already in January 2025, it’s the perfect time to pause and reflect on the whirlwind that was 2024. It truly was everything we hoped for and more. Filled with highs and lows that led to significant growth and understanding as we glided through and prepared for the wedding of our dreams. The biggest party we will probably ever host, and quite frankly 2024 being the most expensive year of our lives to date, relapsing with my graves disease and struggling with getting 'my' stuff done.
As I look back and reflect on the past year, I realise I have learnt more than I had anticipated and it taught me lessons very similar to 2023. Reading back over my old New Year blog with a smile on my face I can see how much I have grown throughout this past year. How much I'd listened to myself, what I changed and how I am learning from my life experiences and with each passing year I am moving forward to reaching my goals. I am proud that 2024 showed the lessons alongside the progress I have made. I've seen a big difference in growth, friendships, life goals, confidence and success.
Lesson one
I can't do everything! As much as I like to think I am Wonder Woman and can do absolutely everything. Sometimes I need to remind myself that I can't.
I have to accept that there are not enough hours in the day. I always have these great dreams of how my day would pan out from getting up at 6:00 am to going to bed at a reasonable hour, I love time-blocking so I like to think that I am as organised as can be. But I do cram far too much in my day and it has taken me 39 years to realise that I can't do everything. Being a freelancer who is literally running a company solely by myself. I haven't factored in the daily distractions that come with running a business as a one-man band. That phone call I wasn't ready for, that knock at the door I wasn't expecting, that quick email I needed to respond to. Just popping to the post office or the bank to get some admin ticked off. That someone else asking for advice, getting stuck in traffic, the list goes on. These are all distractions that I get throughout my day and I love to answer them all. Jay sat me down and said you need to understand that this is your life. You need to plan for the life you have. It is hectic. People want things from me and it's not a bad thing. People want to talk to me, so I have to understand that every day something will come up and not everything will go to plan. It was only then that I finally got it. I need to only plan for the urgent tasks and then if a few extras get ticked off too that's great. I need to stop putting pressure on myself and schedule for the life I have, welcome the distractions, the random phone calls, the last-minute catch-ups and embrace it and everything else will fall into place.
Lesson Two
Not everyone will support you and be happy for you and that's okay. We all have different dreams, hopes, goals and different time scales and deadlines to reach them, and that's okay.
I felt this lesson the minute we were engaged, the moment we announced our wedding plans, the minute we sent out invite details, and even more so throughout the whole wedding planning process. As cliche as it is there is nothing like a wedding to find out exactly who people are.
We kept our circle small And we are so glad we did. Our wedding was an intimate wedding with 60 beautiful loved ones. Almost every person that attended we have known and loved them for over 10 years. We know that everybody there wanted to spend that moment with us. You could feel the love in the air. The warmth from our friends, the kind interactions with others who had never met. It was just truly magical, such a special moment and I think our guests felt so welcome and warmly embraced by everyone that attended. It was hard for a girl to plan a wedding without her mother by her side. I did feel extremely lonely and planning this was the hardest thing to do without her. Even though Jay was planning this wedding with me, there were things that he couldn't help with. Choosing the dress, my shoes, maybe the flowers and girlier things. So I found it extremely tough without her.
People get wrapped up in their own lives, after all, your wedding is for you, not them. Some people don't care at all, they don't even ask anything about the wedding. But that's ok, it's your wedding, your life they have their own to live. Then you have those who ask, "How's it going?" Whenever you see them, they ask for updates, they ask if they can help and they want to be involved. Planning a wedding was the biggest eye-opener that helped filter out true friendship, those who wanted the best for you, cared about your happiness and wanted to celebrate with you every step along the way.
Lesson 3
Be proud! Be proud of yourself. I find that is something we all shy away from, and is one of the hardest emotions to express. We are all far too modest sometimes, shy or even too anxious to be proud of our achievements. I really am proud of Jay and me, for everything we have gained and each goal we have accomplished this past year. The first part of the year was a struggle, it was tough, and I was mentally and physically exhausted. Planning a wedding is a full-time job. It's one of the most stressful things that we have ever planned. But we managed to pull off the wedding of our dreams, we did it.
We have both worked so hard on what we wanted out of this year. And I can't be any prouder of Jay for stepping up and helping me when my health changed. Some things were delayed as trying to do them around planning a wedding was impossible, but by the end of December, we had them ticked off and progressing well into 2025. We are keeping our cards close to our chest for now but as long as we know we have reached our dreams that's all that matters.
Lesson 4
Health always comes first. As I entered 2024 I was in relatively good health and my graves were being managed without medication. I introduced exercising back into my routine and finally started to shred the two-stone weight gain that comes with the medication. As soon as I shifted the weight, I relapsed worse than ever. I wanted to try an inflammatory diet and try to manage my health by feeding it the correct foods that I needed, but I wasn't given the choice, my numbers were dangerously high that I risked my heart failing, so I had no choice but to get back on the medication. I stuck to a high protein and low carb diet for the second part of the year, and limited sugary treats, which was hard as my body was craving the sugar for energy. I had complications with Graves myopathy, where my muscles were wasting rapidly and before the medication kicked in I was at my worst. I lost all strength, I struggled to walk upstairs, get off the sofa and even have Jay help me out of bed in the mornings. He had definitely committed to sickness and health before we took our vows. I had to get strong enough for the wedding. That was my goal. However, New Year's Eve brought a great test result. My first normal result since my relapse and I couldn't start the year in better health.
Lesson 5
Be happy with who you are. We will have
Through all the ups and downs of the past few years of health, friendships changing, my business growing and finally, for the first year I focussed on myself. My weight has fluctuated up and down and unfortunately for the wedding, I had gained weight from taking the medication. But that's fine, the main thing is that We are happy and content with the person we are. We learn to love ourselves, be kind to ourselves and only ever strive to be a better person than we were yesterday. I might not be the size I wanted but as long as my health is well then who cares if I went up a dress size? I will be on this medication indefinitely. So I need to find a way to be happy and work with it. I can't beat myself up forever. We have to always remember that some people are struggling in life far more than we could ever imagine, some are in the worst situations, and some don't have a choice with what path they are on. Be happy with ours.
Always remember people are unpredictable and everyone will have their view and opinion on your plans, dreams and hopes for the future, people will let you down, and people will think that you have all your shit together just because you seem like you do. People will always disappoint you and others will surprise you. It's how you react to the situation that makes the world of difference. Everything is temporary, take the good with the bad, revel in success when it comes and embrace every opportunity.
I have so much love for others and am so loved in return. I am in a partnership full of love with my husband, who continues to encourage me and push me forward, he supports my dreams and encourages me outside of my comfort zone. Jay is fully committed to this journey alongside me, we are on the same page and have so many exciting plans already put in place for this year! We cannot wait. I am so excited I can't sleep and have a new body clock of waking at 5 am. I will continue to choose those who choose me, support those who support me and help those who need my help. For the first time, I am full of contentment and have reached the greatest level of 'unbothered ness' I have aspired to have.
I have no jealousy or animosity towards anyone. I don't have the time or the mental capacity to include toxicity in my life. I have learnt that the only person I should be comparing myself to is the person that I was a year ago.
Love Hayley x
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