So today Is Day two of my 18-month journey to finally beat this disease for good. I'm feeling pretty rubbish about it, I cried for two days about the situation, so yeah, I'm pretty bummed out about it, I'm not going to lie.
I did wine "Why Me?" and "I can't keep doing this!", "I hate the drugs" and "I can't do another 18 months". I let myself be the victim for those few days. So now I have had a long 12-hour sleep and managed to pull myself together to highlight the importance of health.
I start with what happened a few months ago so give a little summary of the events so far.
I found out at the end of May this year that I had relapsed with my Graves disease and my thyroid was working over time.
I was due for my usual check-up to see if I was still in remission. I have been keeping it at bay since stopping medication last May and was truly hoping that this blog would be a celebration of remission and finally beating this disease for good.
I was shocked to be told that it was back and was back with a vengeance. I had no idea. I had absolutely no symptoms. The only issue I was struggling with was tiredness. We are planning our wedding, and trying to move home, I work between two counties and my work is physically demanding with long days to suit. I thought I had every right to feel tired, I mean we all would be living such a busy life.
Since my May appointment I had refused to have medication, and wanted to try alternative methods, I stocked up on herbal drinks, tinctures, healthy foods, and anything that would help gain control of my thyroid. I started an anti-inflammatory diet and researched what foods to avoid and which to overindulge in. I stopped drinking alcohol and caffeine and energy drinks, anything that caused inflammation. During this time my muscles started wasting, I couldn't exercise and had to stop my newfound love of running. I found it harder and harder to take the stairs, but generally, I still felt fine, I was just annoyed with the Struggle.
A few months later I finally received a blood test after finally being put on the urgent list after Kings College NHS was hacked, there were major delays in getting blood tests to those who needed them.
My results were. Normal results
F4 >100.0 11.0-21.2
TSH <0.01 0.27-4.20
FT3 46.6 3.1-6.8
I broke the record with these numbers.
So to hear that my thyroid was being overly dramatic however feeling ok, I was confused. My body has become so used to not functioning properly that it was overcompensating for the disease without alarming my brain. Or I have become so used to telling myself I'm fine and holding everything together I have convinced my body to do the same. But my blood results can't lie.
So last week, a few days after my blood test I received an email from the doctor after a few attempts to contact me
it stated
'Please start taking your medication otherwise there are serious concerns for your health. with levels so high, I could end up with thyrotoxic heart failure, be admitted with a thyroid storm or start having arrhythmias of the heart.
I tried calling you to inform you of the gravity of the situation.'
However, no one has answered the phone to me since.
I can't keep having my Graves disease dictate my life and put plans on hold. Our plans for a family get slimmer every year, I know how difficult it will be for my body. I miss out on nights out, evening events and long days out. However I am committed to my clients and my job, that is one thing that has never been affected by my health. That is always a priority for me. But while working all I can do in life is sleep or rest my body. Plans get cancelled and it's lots of early nights in. I hate the lack of adventure and excitement. I can get the disease under control within a few months, but annoyingly it takes at least 18 steady months to try to keep it away.
So please forgive me if I turn down an invitation or am late to reply to your messages. I will always show up when needed but for now, I have to do what's best for me.
This is going to be a long 18 months, but I won't let it win.
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